Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
