Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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