I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
