Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
