what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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