weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
