i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
