i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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