Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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