Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize