Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
