Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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