it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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