When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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