I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
