and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Randomize
