Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
