it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
