I'm jealous of your bromance
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
