ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
