Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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