He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
