:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
