Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
