airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
