And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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