Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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