Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
