Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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