I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
