I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
