Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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