Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
