? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
