No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
