Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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