when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
