Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
