Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this beer tastes like vomit already
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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