I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize