found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
