tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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