Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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