He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
