I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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