I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
