woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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