using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
