why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Success! We fucked roommates!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
