exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
