You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How naked do you want me to be?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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