Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
