Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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