you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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