New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm at about main and main street
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize