Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
MIDGETS
????
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize