I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
