he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
