after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
