so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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