HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
