when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am in a vortex of obligation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
