I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
