FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We need to get me chipped asap
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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