in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
