Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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