i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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