Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
