Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
