fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
