i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
