Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
