whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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