I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
