i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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