You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize