We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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