yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
