my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
