Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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