you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
