He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
