sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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